The Exciting Adventures Of Axeman &Tmber Toot: The Three-Legged Race (Pffft)

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Axel. He was super smart, super funny, and famously known as… THE AXEMAN! His little sister Timber was just as clever and even sillier. Everyone called her… TIMBER TOOT. (For reasons that will soon become VERY clear.)

Axeman and Timber Toot were fast. Not just regular fast…THREE-LEGGED-RACE FAST.

They trained every day. Step. Step. Practice. Practice. They broke speed records and qualified for the County Kids Olympics!

The big race day finally arrived. They wore their lucky sneakers and looked ready to win. They lined up with the other teams. Their legs were tied together with a bright blue ribbon.

Axeman whispered, “We run like champions.” Timber Toot whispered back, “We fart like legends.” Uh-oh....Axeman gulped. He knew exactly what that meant and soon...everyone would know.

The Referee shouted, “ON YOUR MARKS… GET SET… ”PFFFFT! Timber Toot smiled proudly. Axeman sighed...... “GO!” said the Referee.

All the racers took off running down the track. Axeman shouted, “LEFT! RIGHT! CHAMPION MODE!” Axeman and Timber Toot took the lead.

Suddenly, Timber Toot felt a grumble in her tummy. SQUEEEEAK-TOOT! Axeman laughed, “Was that a hamster farting in sneakers?” Then another....BWAAAA-BROOOOMP! Timber Toot looked around with wide eyes and then burst into laughter. That was my best one yet, she said.“THAT FART JUST BROKE THE SOUND BARRIER!” Axeman yelled.

As they zoomed around the track, fans waved. Some people covered their noses. A little old lady turned a funny color and yelled, "OH MY, I NEED FRESH AIR!" She grabbed her cane and ran away as fast as she could. The cloud was spreading everywhere.

Then…Timber Toot giggled as a little fart popped out like a firecracker with each and every step.Then…it happened. The most dangerous fart of all...the silent but deadly fart! Timber Toot thought Axeman wouldn't notice, but he knew instantly and held his breath. As they were in the middle of a yellow cloud that was building quickly, Axeman shouted, “FOLLOW MY LEAD....NAVIGATING BY SMELL!” Timber Toot laughed as she held her nose and yelled, "MYFARTS ARE SIMPLY THE BEST"

The big, yellow cloud began to follow them down the track. It grew bigger and bigger with every step. The smell was very strong and stinky! The other racers ran right into the yellow cloud. "Oh no!" cried a boy behind them. He stopped running and held his nose tight.

Two other teams started to gag and cough. The smell was too much for them. They waved white flags to say they gave up.

Some racers were so surprised by the smell that they fell on the grass. They were passed out from the stinky cloud! Axeman and Timber Toot kept zooming ahead.

POP-POP-TOOT!“TIMBER, YOUR BUTT NEEDS A MUZZLE!” Axeman yelled.

Someone in the crowd shouted, “THIS IS NOT A RACE — THIS IS A FART EMERGENCY!” Axeman guided Timber Toot through the fog:“LEFT TURN! RIGHT TURN! FINAL SPRINT!”

Timber let out one last, giant fart. It floated up above their heads. The yellow gas twisted and turned in the sky.

The cloud formed a perfect shape in the air. It looked just like a golden winner's trophy! Even the crowd pointed and laughed.

Axeman and Timber Toot crossed the finish line FIRST! The Referee, dizzy and green, announced: “WINNERS BY FART DEFAULT!”

Axeman grabbed the microphone: “WE DIDN’T JUST WIN — WE CLEARED THE FIELD!” The crowd laughed and cheered. Timber Toot grabbed another microphone and shouted: “ALL HAIL TIMBER TOOT!”

Axeman and Timber smiled big smiles while holding their noses. It was the stinkiest, funniest victory ever!That night, Axeman said,“Your farts are legendary.” Timber Toot replied the only way she knew how:“PFFFFFT! The legend continued. THE END